The 1st Grade Spring Concert

Photographic evidence that Grant was at the 1st grade spring concert (right three behind the girl raising her hand) and look he is even smiling! I am not sure what transpired but this boy decided he did not want to perform. He sought me out in the bleachers and wouldn't leave my lap prior to the show starting. As much as it broke my heart, I marched the family out of the gym right as the performance was starting. I didn't want to set a precedent that it was ok to come up into the bleachers and be a spectator when it was expected you be on the gym floor. I think a lot of factors contributed to this moment. The last time he "performed" he passed out (church xmas program). He doesn't like having everyone looking at him and having to sing and dance and come to find out there was some "free dancing" involved in this program. There was also a point when you had to pick a partner and teach them a jive. He had expressed earlier that he didn't know who to pick and I think that had him anxious as well. At any rate, it probably wasn't a pretty scene to have me march us all out of the gym but this will be the night that as parents we looked at each other and said, we need help.

The next day I called a counselor. This is very personal and private but I think talking about it makes it better for others who might be going through something as well. At the end of the day people see what they want to see, but often people don't see or understand daily struggles. Grant really loves his mommy and I really love him. There could be a lot of reasons why he doesn't like to tell me goodbye. There are lots of reasons to be nervous and anxious. Feelings are good and it is ok to have whatever emotion you are having but we can't let those emotions stop us from doing things. He has to understand that new things can be scary, but we can do new things! We remind him constantly that we only put him in situations that set him up to succeed. He couldn't have more people that love him and support him. Somedays getting Grant on the school bus is a challenge. Some days driving him to school is even worse. A few really bad times a teacher had to hold him inside the school foyer while I walked away. Separation for Grant can be really hard. So we are going to work on this with the help of professionals. And how lucky are we to live in a society where getting help is a sign of strength? There are so many people getting help for a variety of things that you don't have to feel like the odd one out or different because it has almost become the norm!

So we will never really know what musical specials Mr.Nelson had planned for that 1st grade spring show, but we have something else to focus on and that's more important.