These aren't easy ones....(not easy at all)

This past week my mother-in-law passed away.  Although she had been diagnosed with stage IV cancer last October, it still came unexpectedly.  I guess you always want to think you have more time and the truth is, you are never ready to let go of someone you love.  I don't want to go into the details of everything, but because this blog is for Elizabeth and Grant someday I want to write about it so they remember how we handled this very difficult situation.

Mimi and EB

We left Thursday evening for Florida, our first family trip to Disney.  We checked into our room late and Brandon and I probably fell asleep around 1 am.  We woke the next morning ready to soak in all of the wonders of Magic Kingdom.  It seemed like it took forever to get in to the actual park, but that's another story.  We had been there an hour or so and my sister-in-law (from AZ, but was in town visiting) call to tell us that Robin had been taken to the hospital and that she would keep us updated.  A few hours later she called again saying that we needed to come home.  In a flurry of emotions we started walking out of the park, pushing a double stroller, working our smart phones, making phone calls...trying to figure out the fastest way home.  We approached an information center and I went to an employee and explained that we had a family emergency and needed to get home as soon as possible.  Within 5 minutes we had kleenex, bottles of water and were escorted out the back gates where a van with 2 car seats waited for us and this compassionate employee drove us to the parking lot to retrieve our rental car.  Grant had fallen asleep due to a total meltdown about not being tall enough to ride Space Mountain (another story!), but Elizabeth jumped out of the stroller and said "what's going on?"  We had to tell her that we needed to leave quickly to get home to be with Mimi.  She cried and said, "but we didn't get to go to Animal Kingdom." We assured her we would come back and with great grace and maturity she nodded her head and got in the car.

Mim with EB and baby Grant

Our first plan was just to get in the car and drive for 15-17 hours back to Illinois.  My mom knew I wouldn't listen to her, so she had my brother call me and he convinced me to get Brandon a flight home and he would come and drive home with me and the kids.  Within another 15 minutes that plan had changed and my brother and sister-in-law had airline tickets for all 4 of us.  After boarding our connecting flight Grant finally asked "Airplane, again?"  I think he had just figured out that our Disney trip was shorter than expected.  We arrived at the hospital at 10:00 pm.

Festival of Lights Parade last year.  Mimi hated to be cold! (and it was cold!)

Brandon and I spent the next week at Robin's side for the most part.  We took turn rotating our kids and  our niece and nephew.  Needless to say, none of the kids saw a lot of their mommies and daddies that week.  On October 11, Robin entered her eternal resting place and I know she had a special place in Heaven waiting for her.  Not only were we dealing with our own emotions as adults, but we knew we had to tell the kids.

Mimi and Grant two years ago at Tanners

My friend had treated the kids to a special trip to an orchard/pumpkin patch.  Then they went to play at our old neighbor's house.  Brandon and I went to pick them up at about 6:30 and we decided to take them to the park to play.  They wanted to swing first.  Unfortunately, Elizabeth kind of got pushed out of the swing and slide across the mulch.  We took the kids over to the pavilion and got her calmed down and then starting walking with them.  Brandon explained that Mimi was now living in Heaven and even though we won't be able to see her, she will always be with us and always be watching over us.  We talked about how it is ok to be sad and it is certainly ok to talk about Mimi.  In fact, we said we wanted to talk about her a lot because we want to always remember her.  The look on Grant's face was so intense and serious.  He spoke first and said, "Only Pops now?"  B said, "Yep, only Pops now" and he nodded his head.  We turned to Elizabeth and she began crying, but said "my hands really hurt" (from the swing incident).  She is pretty intuitive and I think our absence during the week had clued her in that something pretty serious was going on.  I have been concerned about our very inquisitive daughter's quietness.  But yesterday Grant was singing a song from VBS and Elizabeth said, "Mimi is living in God's backyard because she is in Heaven." Today at school the director told me that she overheard some conversation with Elizabeth and her teacher and that it was healthy and appropriate.  All in all I think the kids are coping well.

Amber, Mimi, Brandon

As parent's we faced some tough decisions on how involved the kids should be in the arrangements.  We had very serious discussions about the kids seeing Mimi one last time.  In the end we all concluded that minimal exposure was best.  The children were not present for the visitation or the funeral service.  They did join us for the gathering that followed.  The last time they saw Mimi was when we were all at the orchard/pumpkin patch together.  Amber and her kids had just arrived and Kenny and Robin picked them up and we all met there.  Mimi didn't have a lot of spunk, but she gave it her all - just as she always has.  She sat on the benches and watched the four kids play together and the smile on her face said everything.  Elizabeth, Grant (even Stella and Briggs!) I want you to know that you meant the absolute world to Mimi and she loved you more than you will ever know.  Part of what hurts the most is knowing that the kids will be missing out on an awesome grandmother.  However, we comfort ourselves by saying that now she gets to watch them do everything and always has a front row seat!  We have memories that we will treasure forever and will do our very best to share with you over and over and over again!!  We even had people contribute their favorite things and "Mimi-isms" so that we can make a memory book.  I promise to honor her memory the best that I can.  We lost such a special woman, but I understand that God has a plan and even if I don't like it or even understand it, I trust in Him.

Our last trip to Tanners with Mimi.  They were playing "Statue" a game that Mimi made up a few years ago.  It was one of their favorite games to play together!