A Sunday to Remember (11.17.13)

We had been at a friend's house Saturday night and the kids had gotten to bed late.  Sunday morning Grant woke at his usual hour (6 am!) but Elizabeth was still sleeping.  The plan was for Grant and I to sneak out of the house and go to early church and then Brandon would bring Elizabeth for Sunday School.  As we were trying to leave she woke up and was upset that she couldn't come.  In five minutes I had her hair in pig tails and church clothes on her.  Brandon can't get ready quite that fast so he stayed home.  I took the kids to church.  We made it through the whole service with no exits.  I usually don't brave a church service by myself but they did good.  Afterwards we headed to Sunday School.  My friend Jessica had texted me that morning that bad weather was coming and there could be hail and suggested I drive Brandon's car.  I told her if I didn't have to teach I wouldn't even be going to church because I knew the weather was supposed to be bad.  God had other plans and so the three of us were at church.  As we were loading up into the car, one of my friend's pulling in for church shouted "Hey Alison you know there is a tornado warning?"  I continued loading the kids and then looked at my phone, sure enough I had a text alert with a tornado warning.  Then another text from Jessica "Come to our house." Then Brandon calls and tells me about the warning and I tell him that I know and that I am headed to Jessica's.  As I am leaving the church I see Mike and Pam (who live across the street from the church) heading home.  Pam is running, Mike is casually walking behind her. I rolled my window to comment on their differences in urgencies and before I could speak Pam says "Do you have the kids with you? Come to our house!"  I pulled into their drive and as I was unbuckling the kids the sirens start going off.  We got into the basement and then waited.  Mike was going up periodically to check the conditions.  We all went out on the porch at one point to look around.  We never heard sirens again but another warning was issued so we again took cover.  As we were going up and down I started getting text messages as reception would allow.  I was getting a lot of "are you ok?" which initially I didn't think much of because I wasn't with my family and I wasn't at home.  Then my friend from DC texted me.  I went out on the porch and we saw neighboring emergency vehicles whizzing by.  My gut told me something was wrong.  Then Jessica texted me again "Oh my God we are Ok but heard it come over our house.  Lots of damage in our neighborhood.  I think our house is ok.  Matt and Becky lost their house. Houses in Bishops Ct are gone." My heart sank. Our little town had been hit.  For the next hour and a half I tried to get home.  I couldn't place calls on my cell phone but could receive them. I could also text back and worth, but not easy to do while driving.  As I tried 4 different routes to get out of town I got glimpses of the damage.  I tried hard to hold it together for the kids but I didn't always hide my tears.  They were such troopers.  They made up games and played in the backseat and got along so well the entire time.  I was so proud of them.  The whole time we were in the basement they cooperated.  Pam and I were so chatty I don't think they ever thought there was anything to worry about.  Honestly, I didn't either.  Ms.Pam does the music during Sunday School so my kids are very comfortable with her which was a blessing as well.

This is the farm house we drove by on our way home.  This is basically what the kids have seen, plus debris in the fields.  

Exactly what the news shows...debris as far as the eye can see

Aerial view. The light color is wood and the path that the tornado took.

A wedding ring was found in there!

Anyone who has grown up in the midwest becomes accustomed to taking cover and it amounting to nothing - almost as if they are just drills, but it will never be the same from this point forward.  As I am stuck in traffic the winds pick up again.  The rain comes hard.  I am frantically texting Jessica for a weather update because I am worried another tornado is coming.  Her husband is a weather spotter and expert radar reader.  I probably texted her four different times looking for reassurance that we were safe in our car.  She assured me over and over that it was just rain, no tornado.  When I got home I fell into Brandon's arms and as soon as the kids were out of the area I began to really cry.

A few hours later Brandon and I attempted to get back into town to help.  It proved to be difficult but we took back roads and parked as close as we could and then began walking.  As we walked down curvy Kingsbury I was on the outside and I started to whimper.  Then he saw what I saw.  Complete destruction.  Splintered neighborhoods.  Houses with missing parts.  Foundations with piles of rubble on top of them.  The scenes that we witnessed over the next few days are really indescribable.  We got to Jessica's house and they luckily had virtually no damage.  We walked a block over and roofs were gone, 2nd floors were gone, windows were blown out, cars were totaled, people were helping.  As hard as it was to see, the families that we knew who had just lost their homes were upbeat.  "How are you guys doing?" the response... "We've had better days, but we will be OK."

This is the house my brother lived in 7 years ago.

The next day Brandon went to work and we started to learn of the families that we knew that were hit.  We started figuring out how we could help.  I learned that Elizabeth's friend from school and dance had   had their home leveled. Their two story home is now just a foundation.  I starting gathering stuff of Elizabeth's for her and Elizabeth noticed.  She had a major melt down.  She didn't want to share her things.  I explained over and over that they had nothing and we showed her pictures but she still didn't have a giving heart.  I went to a friend's house to pick up some items for another family and she shared that her son wouldn't share his things either.  We concluded that they are still processing this event and trying to hold on to everything they could.  I know these are giving kids.  I say this to myself over and over again "I don't know what or how they are processing" so I trust and just love and hug them tighter and hope that we are doing the right thing.  We still gave her a few of Elizabeth's things but we also went shopping for new ones as well and she was more than willing to help with that task.  We will keep working on the giving spirit!  They have had questions and we answer them all honestly. Did you know that most kids can't say tornado...it was a really bad "tomato."  Kind of makes you smile.

This is Elizabeth's friend's dad...holding a sign "The Best Place to be is Together"

Tuesday Brandon and I went into ground zero to help our friends.  The first house was a co-worker and we basically packed their house.  They have structural damage and there was glass everywhere, but we were able to save a lot.  The next block over four of my friends live in one cluster.  One house they don't think will be able to be saved.  The other three have some roof and exterior damage but the broken windows and glass on the floors/carpets, followed by the rain which created water damage is quite a mess too.  Then we went to a house that was leveled.  They had to show me the way to the basement.  If it wasn't for her totaled vehicle out front I wouldn't have even been able to find her.  We dug through rubble and saved what we could.  All day I felt like I was guessing what other people's treasures were.  The old saying "one man's trash is another's treasure" is kind of true.  No one really knows what is special to someone else.  I truly hope I didn't pass over anything near and dear to their hearts. Here is some irony for you...as I am sifting I glance up and see a book titled "Simplify - How to live with less" I told my friend and she yelled up "keep it!"  The husband's wedding ring was found, but we never found his wallet.  Her kitchen table was in perfect condition and I whispered to Brandon "I wish we could keep it for them" and he said "Alison, the bathroom wall is on top of it." I told her what a quality table she had to withstand all of this and she laughed..it was from Ikea!! We searched for keepsakes until curfew was imposed on us and the sun was setting.  When we reached a check point the cop asked where we were going and I said, "The library, my friend some books that she wanted me to return for her"  His reply with a chuckle was "OK, sure, I guess life goes on!" We took the long way home and saw the damage on the other side of town.  I honestly do not know how there was only one fatality.  The damage is so far spread and so wide and from a little bit higher ground it goes on and on as far as the eye can see.

But from all of this devastation comes the opportunities for heroes to rise and a community to come together.  We have the chance to teach our children about the giving spirit and to lend a hand to those in need.  The out pouring of love and support to our community has been immense.  So much that they have actually had to start turning donations away.  Volunteers were walking around passing out lunch and water and later candy bars.  A flat bed from Lowe's passed us by with plastic totes, water and work gloves.  Duracell brought up a truck load of batteries.  I love seeing all of the american flags that people have hung in the middle of the disaster.  Our high school football team advanced in the playoffs just the day before the tornado hit.  The team they beat has let them practice at their facility and feed them meals.  The team we are playing on Saturday has charted buses to bring our fans to the game.  I seriously can't think of all of this good without getting choked up.  Your faith is restored in humanity when you go through these life changing events.  There is a reason I don't want to leave Washington.  Everyone has their story from this event.  This is our family's story.  For the record it was rated as an EF-4 with wind speeds of 190 mph.  We can only pray that this is a once in a lifetime event.  It has certainly made us think about where and how we keep our valuables.  And we all have a whole new respect for weather warnings and sirens.  We said a lot of extra prayers this past Sunday and hugged our kids really, really tight (and each other!)

Grant's Progress Report

The same day that we had no tears at school for the fist time was also the day that Progress Reports got sent home.  My favorite part "Your child is experiencing some difficulty in the following areas: No difficulties at this time"  Yay!  His teachers also commented that he had really started to warm up from the beginning of the year.  He also follows directions and does a good job in participating.  We are very proud of you Grant! Thank you Miss Stacy and Miss Mandy!  I think we have maybe made it over the separation anxiety hurdle.

Now if I could just get him to follow directions at home!  At this exact moment Elizabeth is yelling at him to get his pee pee off her bed.  The only stitch of clothing he has had on for the last 3 years was a pair of underwear, I guess he ditched those while I was blogging!

I also let the kids wear dress up clothes while we got groceries today.  I had everyone dressed and ready to go and was finalizing my list when they put dress up clothes on every so quietly.  I decided to pick my battles.  Silently I was hoping they would decide on the drive that they looked silly and would take them off, but no such luck.  So Dr.Grant and Cinderella Elizabeth made the shopping trip today!  Grant had the doctor's hat on too but took it off once we entered the first store and a very kind older gentleman struck up a conversation with him.  Perhaps he didn't like the attention as much as he thought he would!

Birthday Quizzes (just a few months late!)

Eeekkks!  How did I forget to do these?  Well they are just a few months late, at least I didn't forget entirely right :)

1) WHAT IS YOUR NAME? Grant (and he attempted to spell it "G-R-N-T" not a bad try!)
2) HOW OLD ARE YOU? 3
3) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Green (and yellow and orange)
4) WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Gavin
5) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? A Hot dog
6) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? Finding Nemo ("Nemo")
7) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Mickey Mouse
8) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? Tractors
9) WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? Toys
10) WHAT MAKES YOU SAD? No Toys
11) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Hot Dogs
12) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG? Imagination Movers ("you got to think about it")
13) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GAME TO PLAY? Guess Who, Sequence and Parchesi
14) WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE GIFT? Well, since we are few months late on this one, he is remembering his Santa gift from Xmas last year, which was a remote control dog riding a skate board!

How Things Are Made

One night last week the kids were coloring and we got to talking about crayons and one thing lead to another and they were asking how crayons were made.  I remembered that there was a Sesame Street episode when I was growing up and they showed a crayon factory.  I pulled it up on YouTube and the kids watched it.  They were pretty entertained by this so we started talking about how other things are made.  It was approaching bedtime and I told them if they could think of a few things I would see if I could find videos about how they were made.  Elizabeth automatically said "how about beds and pillows?"  Sure...YouTube has everything right? Then my sweet little Grant pipes up "How they make people?"  Oh did he seriously just ask that...being the fast thinker that I am I responded with "Oh Lego people? You want to see how Lego people are made?"  It seemed to satisfy him and the next day we watched how Legos were made!  A few days later I'm tucking Elizabeth in and she says "I've got a good one.  I wonder how they make meat?"  Oh the brains of children.  Trust me honey you do not want to see how meat is made or your favorite meal of steak and mushrooms might not be so appealing!

Other hairy questions/conversations...
We were driving home from school and they were mowing the roadsides and a rabbit had been scared out of it's hiding place.  Elizabeth noticed it and asked if rabbits lay eggs.  I told her no they did not lay eggs.  "Then how do you get more rabbits?" I paused for a moment to think how to proceed with this dangerous topic.  "Well they are inside"  Elizabeth: "Oh so they just stay inside until they are ready to come out, just like people?"  "Yep that's how it works" and thankfully there were no more follow up questions!

By the way, I know my conversation punctuation is far from accurate...I am just capturing moments here, not trying to win a Pulitzer :)

Disney 2013

Although our time at the magical place on earth (where dreams come true!) was cut a little short, I still wanted to share our pictures.  I felt like I planned a lot for this trip, but the first hour in, I was completely overwhelmed.  My lack of an internal compass and being directionally challenged was a large part of it!  Our first mis-step was driving to the park and not thinking about the amount of time it would take to actually get into the park.  Next, I had not properly prepared the kids for the character meet and greets.  The first characters we saw were Pluto and Minnie Mouse.  First I didn't prepare them that they would have to wait in a line to meet them and second I didn't prepare them that at some point the characters leave.  It was really important for Elizabeth to meet Pluto and after standing in line for a few minutes, it was announced that he would be moving on.  So EB had her first melt down.  Another lesson I learned was that if you think your kid might not be tall enough to do a ride it probably isn't a good idea to parade him up there only to be told "sorry buddy you don't meet the height requirement."  

To recap our trip and lessons learned... 1) allow plenty of time to get into the park (you aren't the only ones there!) 2) familiarize yourself with a map (side note - Brandon even struggled with the Disney app that was supposedly so wonderful) 3) prepare your children for the character experiences (would you rather do a ride or wait in line for a autograph with a character we may be dining with later) 4) have a back up ride for your shorter child to ride to keep them happy (Grant's melt down in the gift shop was something no one enjoyed witnessing!) Geesh this all seems so obvious now!

The good news is there was a lot that we did do right.  My pink scarf on the stroller was a great idea.  Renting from Magic Strollers worked out really well.  Packing a tube of pennies for the souvenir penny press was also a good idea and the kids had fun looking for the penny stations.  I am guessing the rain ponchos I packed would have come in handy, but we didn't have any rain while we were there.  

My initial emotion was just purely being overwhelmed and not exactly magical, but when I look back the pictures they make me smile and it's kind of like child labor - you just remember the sweet baby in your arms, not all the hard work it took to get there!  So here are our happy memories, until we go back and make a few more! (and maybe get a family picture together!!)

Grant was really excited!

Daddy took a turn pushing to stroller too

Main Street was decorated for Halloween

"White Rabbit" (Grant was OK watching from the sidelines)

On the Tea Cups

EB's very special face painting.  She didn't get to do it at the St.Jude Kid's Run this year because she had her dance recital and we have been promising her she could get her face painted somewhere.  Well of course Disney had a face painting station and she found it!  We smiled, bit the bullet (because we knew it would be pricey) but she was so thrilled and happy it was worth it and with the way everything went down over the next few hours we were so glad we said yes.  Plus everybody in the airports and planes complimented her so we really got our monies worth! 

It was worth the wait to see the step sisters and step mother from Cinderella.  They were a hoot!  Again, Grant was OK just watching :)

We were going to eat lunch but Grant spotted the carousel and insisted we do that before we ate.  Again, another thing we are glad we said yes to.  We all four rode on a horse and smiled the entire time! 

We also did Dumbo and Goofy's Barnstormer roller coaster.  There was no wait at Lilo and Stitch's Great Escape ride so we did that, but I would not do it again.  Personally I just thought the ride was dumb.  Grant pulled a good one on this attraction though.  You enter a round room with chairs and restraints automatically come down.  When they hit your shoulders they go up just a tiny bit so you are comfortable yet still secure.  Well our little buddy was sitting on his knees when the shoulder restraints came down so that meant he had plenty of room to weasel out.  Since we had never been on this ride I had no idea how important these restraints were.  I held my hand on his leg but half way through he slide out and tried to sit on my lap!  I was restrained myself so there was very little we could do to make him sit in his chair.  Brandon and I were looking at each other like "what do we do now?!"  I had to assume because no one came and checked our restraints that they weren't really necessary and that was in deed the case so it was all good, but a little hairy for a moment.  Needless to say I don't need to do that ride again!  Elizabeth and Grant drove us around the Tomorrowland Speedway and the last ride was Space Mountain.  This was the ride that Grant didn't make it on due to his height.  We did the rider swap and Brandon and I both rode with Elizabeth.  She is our thrill seeker and absolutely loved it!  I think she might actually do the Tower of Terror.

These aren't easy ones....(not easy at all)

This past week my mother-in-law passed away.  Although she had been diagnosed with stage IV cancer last October, it still came unexpectedly.  I guess you always want to think you have more time and the truth is, you are never ready to let go of someone you love.  I don't want to go into the details of everything, but because this blog is for Elizabeth and Grant someday I want to write about it so they remember how we handled this very difficult situation.

Mimi and EB

We left Thursday evening for Florida, our first family trip to Disney.  We checked into our room late and Brandon and I probably fell asleep around 1 am.  We woke the next morning ready to soak in all of the wonders of Magic Kingdom.  It seemed like it took forever to get in to the actual park, but that's another story.  We had been there an hour or so and my sister-in-law (from AZ, but was in town visiting) call to tell us that Robin had been taken to the hospital and that she would keep us updated.  A few hours later she called again saying that we needed to come home.  In a flurry of emotions we started walking out of the park, pushing a double stroller, working our smart phones, making phone calls...trying to figure out the fastest way home.  We approached an information center and I went to an employee and explained that we had a family emergency and needed to get home as soon as possible.  Within 5 minutes we had kleenex, bottles of water and were escorted out the back gates where a van with 2 car seats waited for us and this compassionate employee drove us to the parking lot to retrieve our rental car.  Grant had fallen asleep due to a total meltdown about not being tall enough to ride Space Mountain (another story!), but Elizabeth jumped out of the stroller and said "what's going on?"  We had to tell her that we needed to leave quickly to get home to be with Mimi.  She cried and said, "but we didn't get to go to Animal Kingdom." We assured her we would come back and with great grace and maturity she nodded her head and got in the car.

Mim with EB and baby Grant

Our first plan was just to get in the car and drive for 15-17 hours back to Illinois.  My mom knew I wouldn't listen to her, so she had my brother call me and he convinced me to get Brandon a flight home and he would come and drive home with me and the kids.  Within another 15 minutes that plan had changed and my brother and sister-in-law had airline tickets for all 4 of us.  After boarding our connecting flight Grant finally asked "Airplane, again?"  I think he had just figured out that our Disney trip was shorter than expected.  We arrived at the hospital at 10:00 pm.

Festival of Lights Parade last year.  Mimi hated to be cold! (and it was cold!)

Brandon and I spent the next week at Robin's side for the most part.  We took turn rotating our kids and  our niece and nephew.  Needless to say, none of the kids saw a lot of their mommies and daddies that week.  On October 11, Robin entered her eternal resting place and I know she had a special place in Heaven waiting for her.  Not only were we dealing with our own emotions as adults, but we knew we had to tell the kids.

Mimi and Grant two years ago at Tanners

My friend had treated the kids to a special trip to an orchard/pumpkin patch.  Then they went to play at our old neighbor's house.  Brandon and I went to pick them up at about 6:30 and we decided to take them to the park to play.  They wanted to swing first.  Unfortunately, Elizabeth kind of got pushed out of the swing and slide across the mulch.  We took the kids over to the pavilion and got her calmed down and then starting walking with them.  Brandon explained that Mimi was now living in Heaven and even though we won't be able to see her, she will always be with us and always be watching over us.  We talked about how it is ok to be sad and it is certainly ok to talk about Mimi.  In fact, we said we wanted to talk about her a lot because we want to always remember her.  The look on Grant's face was so intense and serious.  He spoke first and said, "Only Pops now?"  B said, "Yep, only Pops now" and he nodded his head.  We turned to Elizabeth and she began crying, but said "my hands really hurt" (from the swing incident).  She is pretty intuitive and I think our absence during the week had clued her in that something pretty serious was going on.  I have been concerned about our very inquisitive daughter's quietness.  But yesterday Grant was singing a song from VBS and Elizabeth said, "Mimi is living in God's backyard because she is in Heaven." Today at school the director told me that she overheard some conversation with Elizabeth and her teacher and that it was healthy and appropriate.  All in all I think the kids are coping well.

Amber, Mimi, Brandon

As parent's we faced some tough decisions on how involved the kids should be in the arrangements.  We had very serious discussions about the kids seeing Mimi one last time.  In the end we all concluded that minimal exposure was best.  The children were not present for the visitation or the funeral service.  They did join us for the gathering that followed.  The last time they saw Mimi was when we were all at the orchard/pumpkin patch together.  Amber and her kids had just arrived and Kenny and Robin picked them up and we all met there.  Mimi didn't have a lot of spunk, but she gave it her all - just as she always has.  She sat on the benches and watched the four kids play together and the smile on her face said everything.  Elizabeth, Grant (even Stella and Briggs!) I want you to know that you meant the absolute world to Mimi and she loved you more than you will ever know.  Part of what hurts the most is knowing that the kids will be missing out on an awesome grandmother.  However, we comfort ourselves by saying that now she gets to watch them do everything and always has a front row seat!  We have memories that we will treasure forever and will do our very best to share with you over and over and over again!!  We even had people contribute their favorite things and "Mimi-isms" so that we can make a memory book.  I promise to honor her memory the best that I can.  We lost such a special woman, but I understand that God has a plan and even if I don't like it or even understand it, I trust in Him.

Our last trip to Tanners with Mimi.  They were playing "Statue" a game that Mimi made up a few years ago.  It was one of their favorite games to play together!

Grant and School

Well I knew it was too good to be true.  Grant did awesome at school the first few weeks when I dropped him off.  Two weeks ago he clung to me so strongly it took both teachers to pull him off of me.  Last week he decided my pony tail would be a good thing to hang on to for dear life.  Of course within 10 minutes he is calm.  The teachers say he participates, plays and listens well.  So our solution...next week Grant gets to go to school TWO days a week instead of just one.  We hope that more frequency will help with his routine and that he will adjust quicker.  The whole way to school he will sit in the in the back and say "I don't like school."  When we ask him what he doesn't like he just repeats "I don't like school."  Last week they had beans in the water table and the teacher said he insisted on picking up all the beans that had spilled onto the floor before doing anything else!  I know this isn't uncommon, I just hope we move through this stage quickly because it isn't pleasant for anyone!!

Awe...look at that sweet face!